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October 21st, 2004

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October 16th, 2004

10:40 pm - i dont have much in my life, but take it it's yours so im listing to this song by something corporate. and its beautiful. i wonder if all their other songs are like this. if they are, why havent i been listeing to them?! mom came home. im going to texas next week. crazy. im glad. i need to get out for a few days. and just be somewhere away from everything i consider to be normal. AtAtAkAkunAkAttA: do treefrogs have vaginas? PrettySoldierM: i dunno AtAtAkAkunAkAttA: hmm i should explore PrettySoldierM: yeah\ PrettySoldierM: look it up on yahoo PrettySoldierM: or ask jeeves PrettySoldierM: lol AtAtAkAkunAkAttA: I'll ask your jeeves AtAtAkAkunAkAttA: and by ask i mean fuck AtAtAkAkunAkAttA: and by jeeves i mean vagina AtAtAkAkunAkAttA: ok im off to bathe AtAtAkAkunAkAttA: tootles i love rob. hes the best.lol. god this songs great. adam played the new album from this band under oath or something. it wasnt bad. PrettySoldierM: crapshaith this song is fuckin amazing AndyV118: what song ididoth PrettySoldierM: constantine by something corporate AndyV118: im curently listening to some jay-z PrettySoldierM: well download this song and worship it AndyV118: what jay-z is so crunk PrettySoldierM: i know AndyV118: lol PrettySoldierM: but this will make you want to jump off a bridge AndyV118: im not realy in the down loading moos PrettySoldierM: youll love it tho AndyV118: o thats great like i need any more encouragment lmao. andy vives.... i love my friends. so now the winamp has moved on the the smiths-unloveable. mmm. fondu is so fat. i love fat cats i got written up today at work b/c $84 went missing yesterday. such bullshit. i hate that fucking job. steve from gallery of sound told me i should read books on stage for a living today...mmm...i love how the outlook on my future is so great. my friend clayton from monticello im'ed me today and informed me that a kid i went to kidnergarten with got into a car accident and 3 kids died.the kid i knew survived, but he's prolly gonna be blamed for the whole accident. its really sad. i wouldnt want to deal with something that awful.i should stop being so ungreatful and be thankful nothing like that has ever happened to me. now some danii minogue business is happening. some crazy song that sounds like its from an episode of QAF. not bad, but not fitting...moby-signs of love. much better. i'll end on this hopeful note: AndyV118: wow im on pablos computer and i put his music on random and MC hammer came on AndyV118: cant touch this Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: something corporate-constantine

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October 13th, 2004

01:45 am - the american meaning of happiness well...just got home from the stepford wives. im hardcore all about the original, but the new one was actually pretty fly.except, the old one was so scary. this one was just funny. it kinda felt like my life. it had this five seconds of a deeper meaning, then you all laughed at me for clinging to a robotic head in a last attempt at love. the last week has been a shitty one. an uphill stuggle for some unattainable happiness. i realized this week: -i hate my job -i really took in to much with these swan lake costumes last minute -i will always be poor -i will always be in love -i truely abhore my father and really wish i was a bastard. then i wouldnt have to know what kind of evil blood pulses in my veins -my mother will never be like everyone elses, and will always be lost, like some kind of sad thing that fell off a space ship and just orbits without meaning and without a place. -gatsby was wrong; you can't change the past -in september,lauren, kailey, and t, will be starting over, on their own, fresh, happy, and i, like my mother, will be lost ...im more like her then he ever thought and it'll be obvious then... -mr.g is gone.and its strange to think he was really here.the last year went so fast, but it was all the time in slow motion.and as cliche as it is, maybe it was, after all, a dream. i mean really, its been such a crazy year. we started out so unhappy. and became more so. learned some, and died some. i think we might all be in a better place now, however.i dont know how to step forward when the future seems so forboding.im a senior next year. and unlike the other kids whos parents help fill out their scholarship and college applications, ill be alone. im gonna have to figure this out by myself. i dunno, maybe im being dramatic. i mean, boston isnt mars. lauren and t will still be their for me. but this little voice keeps reminding me of my mother. she left with him and forgot her life here. is out of sight truely out of mind? that cant be so. every minute josh is out of my sight, hes on my mind. i know anyone who reads this might not take that seriously, but i honestly mean it. we've been through everything short of nuclear holocaust together. if i am not in love with this boy then i might as well die now. ive never felt so strongly about someone else. i dont hope he feels the same, because i know he does, even if we dont always show it, we are connected. i think i would be a lot happier if from now on, i could find pleasure in life and not pick at its faults. yeah, we'll give that a try. Otis Redding- Everclear Do you remember when we were hungry Do you remember when we were cold Do you remember when we were happy Do you remember do you remember Do you remember when we were lucky We living the life almost every night I would wrap you in my thin white arms We'd sit and watch the stars die Do you remember when we were the losers Do you remember when we were the lame Do you remember when we were the lovers Do you remember do you remember Do you remember when we were strung out Eating Top Ramen and macaroni & cheese We would get so lost in that basement room And let the Otis Redding sing us to sleep I wish I had one more life I don't want to be wasted I don't want to live inside this daydream anymore I just want to be happy again I don't want to be wasted I don't want to be blind I wish I could be like all my heroes I wish I could be like all yours too I wish I could sing like Otis Redding I wish I could play this guitar in tune Do you remember when we were hungry Do you remember when we were cold Do you remember when we were happy In a way, no one outside Could ever know I wish I had one more life... How I wish I had one more life to live Current Mood: listless Current Music: the fish tank

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July 8th, 2004

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July 6th, 2004

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June 22nd, 2004

12:05 am - well she lives for the written word, and people come second, or possibly third. well, last night before im off to exotic el paso texas. woot. im gonna spend all my time in a nice pool. im getting nervous though.i dunno. i guess planes make everyone antsy. if something goes wrong, i love you to the following people: josh,lauren,T,kailey,ellen,eric,andy,swift,adam,kori,jen,jenny,eric, aaron,rob,julia,laurenmilhalko,sarah,angela,emily,and oh man this is so morbid so im gonna stop assuming something will go wrong with my vacation!!!im going to have a fun time. and everything will be fine. and i have love for everyone whether i come back or not.so there.sarah came over today and it was a nice suprise. really ironic since i just stated how much i miss her. we chilled. we picked up a copy of the hottest autobiography in print-MY LIFE. ROCK ON BILL CLINTON!! so now ill have an awesome read for the plane. as well as my ap english work to do.(<sux)i miss everyone already. but im so glad to be going. then i can love everyone more adequitly and stop sulking. well, im out. see y'all on july 2. Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: wyclef-gone til november

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June 6th, 2004

10:40 pm - oh jen, i knew it all along saromance16's LJ stalker is xcomplicatedx! xcomplicatedx is stalking you because you said something bad about them on your LJ. They are also getting jiggy with your best friend! LiveJournal Username: LJ Stalker Finder From Go-Quiz.com Current Mood: amused Current Music: love actually

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June 3rd, 2004

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May 27th, 2004

02:07 pm - velveeta is so gross. im in the media center with my two best friends from days of old, angela and emily. wow i missed them this year. i definately didnt miss the block however. god those year-end projects sucked. i heart my dumb classes. soooo glad its the weekend. i havent been to work all week since sunday. im hoping its because kevin felt bad that i had to work all last weekend for prom, and not because im gonna get fired. that would just suck. id be ultra poor then insted of just poor. i really dont feel too good b/c i drank a butt load of mountain dew today and didnt eat anything, amongst other angsty feelings. Current Mood: jittery

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May 26th, 2004

10:50 pm - oh lover, i'll cover you meh...i had tacos for dinner and i feel fucking ill. i hate life. i have to decorate a tutu this week. man. that should be fun but im all pissed at life. blah... im being such a lame ass. i do have valid reasons to hate life. im just to grouchy/ill to discuss it.on a side note my hip hurts b/c i danced today. i really dont understand how life is going to be at school next year without mr.g. and kailey. DAAHH. and the rest of the school year without sarah bannon. im kinda feelin the way kaiely is about the school year ending. i dont know what to name my kitten. if its a boy, it will be claudio, but if its a girl, it will be turpentine. but sometimes i feel like it should be named something cute like mustard, or fluff. maybe something hardcore like morrison or brian kinney. i really thoughtit would be cute to name it stoner and make it a little hempy collar. kailey thinks pot has a taste that lingers in the air. wow if i was a boy id name myself travis or miles. wow i wish i was a boy so i could have a cool name. merf. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: elo- turn to stone

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May 25th, 2004

12:03 am - poof You're Mark Cohen, an amateur filmmaker looking for inspiration. You observe from afar, sometimes detatched from what's going on around you. Rent Character Quiz brought to you by Quizilla well, as we all know, ive never even seen rent so im not gonna act like a big poser and say "oh cool, im mark!" like i actually know what im talking about. however, i do adore the soundtrack. and, from the little description id say that quiz was pretty acurate. thats how i feel sometimes. im always watching people from far away, at what i like to call a "safe distance" its better to make up lives for people than to know what theyre actually like. wow, i just made the oddest face, i kinda looked like rob. im going to erics to whine about my life, and listen to him do the same. Current Mood: pfft Current Music: airconditioner!!

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May 24th, 2004

10:11 am - shit wow life blows. i havent gotten to watch who is cletus tout since i got it, and now more bad news!! mr.g told me he wont be here next year. apparently the other teachers are making his life a living hell at dv. god this school fucking sucks a nut. and i hate all these dumb sluts. oh good theyre leaving.why dont people who suck ever leave? does it always have to be the people we care about? Current Mood: tearing my eyes out Current Music: only 12 more days with mr.g's voice

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May 23rd, 2004

12:16 am - "you best check yourself before you wreck yourself" it was a weekend. we had a yardsale today with barb from W.P. what a time! then i had work with new-girl kelly. shes nice. im kinda tired and irrate. i just was checkin the ole email and found some lovely comment from angie about how my sister is demon-spawn. it was unnecessairy.in other news; we went to the carnival after work and it was shitty. but josh won me a puppy. thats about all for now. Current Mood: annoyed

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May 9th, 2004

09:58 pm - what a shitty week i dont really remember this week. it all seems like a blur. probably because it was so boring. yesterday i sliced my finger on a knife and had to leave work and go to milford urgent care cause it woulndt stop bleeding and it was gross. then was dragged on over to seventh street. then josh was nasty to me on the phone. then i went home and he came over and was grouchy and sad. then i watched freaks and geeks alone while everyone else went to fridays. then they all came home and made a ruckus. and i was cranky. today tha dog got out three times and lauren sprained her ankle. josh was continually irratible and it seems he no longer wants to put any effort into the relationship. we've been thru this shit before, so itll pass. hes prolly having a shitty time and i just need to be understanding. man it has been a loooong weekend. im tired of school and subway. blah. summer. Current Mood: cranky

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May 6th, 2004

09:39 am so once again i find myself in mr.g's class. i was down in burns making a really hott depiction of 60s and 70s rockers on the chalk board w/ sarah bannon but i had to come back b/c i had the only hall pass for mr.g's room. mr.g's showing the kids some pictures of his girlfriend. shes really pretty. wow im so glad we're halfway through the marking period i really just want it to be summer. i really deeply regret the fact that i have to come to school. lol. its really weird though, b/c were almost into the second week of may and we only have a month or less left but it feels like we'll be here forever. im glad all the college kids are coming home, we miss them here. well thats all i have time for. adidios. Current Mood: blah

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May 2nd, 2004

10:38 pm - well sex that up! 1. Go into your LJ's archives. 2. Find your 23rd post. 3. Find the fifth sentence. 4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions. but i cant write anything real. Current Mood: awake Current Music: kailey playing flute

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April 27th, 2004

11:34 pm - hahhaha post a memory of me in the comments: it can be anything you want. then post this to your journal, and see what people remember of you. well...sometimes i see the word paste and want to pronounce it 'past-ay' like past as in 'its in the past'. sometimes i see andy vives and think about the days when i didnt know him and pronounced his last name how its actually spelled. lol. court happened today. hearing is in may. dad and mary-anne looked janky. sometimes i get really confused about dad. i wonder if hes only been the way he has b/c of evil bitch face and he's really sad about everything thats gone down. and sometimes wonder if maybe no, he really is evil. either way. feeble-minded slave-of-a-whore or evil. not a good deal. whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, i felt really bad for him today. and its weird b/c i like to believe that i truely hate him. but i think what it is, as usual, is that im not really angry so much as hurt and wont figure this out until its too late. but theres no need to jump to those conclusions. i might be right. my brain hurts a little. i wish it was tomarrow. i need some love. thats one thing ill kinda miss about school. not seeing everyone everyday. but half the people i love i dont see in school anyway. summer owns. except the heat. cant wait!i gotta get my lisence soon. im such a lazy fucker. im so excited b/c i get the freeks and geeks box set this friday from mr.adam for 30 bucks. i think its a good deal. even if it wasnt id buy it then have sex with all the dvds!im so glad me and adam arent being stupid anymore. its good to have friends. as well as lovers...josh gets his hair cut tomarrow. i just keep telling myself it will be ok. kaileys telling me about some movie she saw in foreign film about angry italians who hate porn. she's so nutty! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: white stripes

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April 25th, 2004

01:26 pm - and i'll be your cas-thle! yo, so yesterday was mad crunk. first i went to the mall with mitten in tow under the prestense of getting a bathing suit and a koala and came back w/ a new skirt instead. lol. then i came home and ellen made me the most stupid fly t-shirt i will ever own. thats right, i shit my pants. then for even more pants shitting pleasure, lauren, t, ellen and i went to the Castle for some mini-golf. what a great time. then we went to friendlys which was one of the worst restaurant experiences of my life. we had the shittiest waitress. i think she was stoned. so now its sunday. i think sunday might be my least favorite day. b/c it is almost never productive b/c i spend the entire day thinking about how i have to go back to school tomarrow, dreaded custody on tuesday. :( hopefully the week wont be that shitty.lol. well. thats about it. Current Mood: calm Current Music: mc solaar-gangster moderne

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April 24th, 2004

12:35 am - im such the mack Who is your Pirates of the Caribbean Lover? by SoExcited612 Name Sex Lover The sex god CAPT Jack Sparrow Where it will go down In the back of a Tortuga bar Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen! Current Mood: amused

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April 19th, 2004

10:34 pm - ffffffffttttttt rawwwwwww! i just want to scream so badly right now. i dont know what the hell is wrong with me. these mood swings are fucking killer though. it just seems like everyones so weird all of the sudden. and in the end i just end up hating myself for it. that was kinda redundant. whatever, its probably just the period gettin me down. i think i need to lay down for a while and just never get up. maybe go into a coma for a few days until my headums gets straight. or just go lay on my floor, listen to some nice, low key music and have a good cry. Current Mood: discontent

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